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Hard Times

5/14/2019

1 Comment

 
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I have seen images like this one all over teacher social media; and while it's a great sentiment that parents and teachers alike need to be reminded of, it isn't as powerful or moving as the reminder that I got from an astonishingly insightful student today. I have been teaching in the classroom for twenty years now and this has to be in my top five "WOW" moments.
Like many other teachers who are bravely facing those last few weeks of school, I have been feeling stressed that there's not enough time left to accomplish all of my goals. I have also been feeling frustrated with some of my students behavior-I'm sure you can relate.

One student, in particular, is giving me a really hard time. This student has been giving me a hard time all year, but I was starting to feel like we had made some progress. I have worked so hard to get through to him, and it felt like we were finally starting to build a good relationship-he might even like me a little. Then Monday happened. He came in angry, and I thought he's having a hard time. Tomorrow will be better. It wasn't. 

He asked to go to the bathroom and while he was gone a student said to me, "I think I know why --- is giving you such a hard time." 

I just looked at him curiously, and he went on to explain that students sometimes have a hard time leaving a teacher at the end of the year. He said they get sad because they're not going to see you anymore, but if they are mean to you, it doesn't feel so bad to leave.

I thought about what he said for the rest of the day. What he described reminded me of the way people sometimes behave when they know a relationship is ending. I don't know why this never occurred to me before. I preach and preach about the importance of relationships! How did it never register that the end of the year might feel like the end of a relationship for a lot of students?

Now I am feeling super bad about how frustrated I have been with all of this fun student behavior I have been dealing with in my classroom lately. I've let the stress of trying to "finish" add to that frustration and have been a pretty grumpy teacher this week. This is not how I want to be remembered. I am so thankful that this eleven-year-old kid had this insight and the courage to share it with me. It has completely changed the way I look at the end of the year. Kindness and empathy are far more important than getting enough lessons done. Today I learned the lesson.  
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1 Comment
Tara Deppert
5/5/2020 10:49:12 am

I love this story. It can be flipped back to yourself. I, always, have a hard time saying goodbye to Seniors at the end of the year and find sometimes that I'm, actually, tougher on them and I start distancing myself instead of what drawing them close and reassuring them. I try to keep an countdown until end of the year bulletin board of pictures / projects that we liked or shared to give us something to talk about when goodbyes come up and get hard.

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    I am a lifelong learner and have had the privilege of also being called a teacher for eighteen years. 

    I am currently teaching 6th grade English, World History, and Media Studies. 

    I am an active Tweeter, Blogger and connected educator in pursuit of learning that allows me to use technology to enhance the learning experience for my students.

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    Like this blog? Are you a middle school English teacher? Check out my 20% time project. Genius Hour isn't just for students; my passion project is called "The Book Somm." It's a separate blog dedicated entirely to my love of literature. I read books and build a menu of paired texts and lessons around the YA novels that I love. 
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